A Wound Reopened to Help Others

[by Mike]

Again I find myself writing with the haunting, and actually quite annoying, sound of the Imam crying out the call to worship from the Minaret adjacent the church. I pause waiting for it to end so that I can think clearly enough to write.

Yesterday was so painful. As many of you know, Suzy and I, and truthfully David as well, lost a boy, Benjamin, at birth about 6 years ago. Yesterday, we were told that Yilmaz and Tanya awoke to the horrifying loss of their baby of 4 months. Regardless of the time of the loss (4 months or 9), the pain is the same. Suzy and I were asked to go with Pastor Hans and Pastor Erkan to the hospital and then to the cemetery. We did not know what we would see and what we would feel.

A tidal wave of pain and sadness overwhelmed me. The memories of this event and the realization that dear friends are experiencing this terrible pain was almost too much to take. It would take pages to explain the misery we felt.

It is very challenging to know what to write. This was and is so difficult for me. I watched the necessity for Yilmaz to be strong and set his emotions to the side. I remember doing this and waiting over a year to allow these feeling to be addressed. He was a sturdy support for his bride, loving and serving her "as Christ loved the church". His poor wife Tanya walked tenderly in his arms of comfort and wept continually. Your heart would break to see the sight.

We left the hospital in near silence, entered the van, and rode to the cemetery. We were driven to the Christian section and gazed into the grave as Erkan led us in Turkish hymns. The service was very emotional for all. As the men took turns with the shovels to help Yilmaz bury his daughter, Elizabet, Tanya wept and finally collapsed. Yilmaz, a slight man, rescued his solid wife and carried her into the van with strength from the Lord. You could see his desire to serve his bride and the pain and emptiness in Tanya.

Oh, the sadness.

When we went through this same event, we heard such useless and sometimes painful words from well-wishers and found that the most helpful individuals in our life were others who went through the same experience. Interestingly, I don't remember much of what they said and more that they were "just there". And this is how we were, present with little to say.

We never know how the Lord will use us. Why did the Lord want for us to be here? Sometimes it is exactly as one would expect. So I can preach and encourage the family with whom we are staying, to lead a parenting seminar, to lead a woman's conference, to play guitar and lead worship...these we expect. Perhaps the less expected events are the most important.

Mike